A confession
by EyreGirl
Summary: Mr. Rochester has to make a confession. Would it be the end of his relation with Jane or an opportunity to remake his life with the woman he loves? A twist of events that will lead to a new member at Thornfield s place.
1. Chapter 1

_So this is my first Jane Eyre fan-fiction. I don´t pretend to take this too far, less that 5 chapters, I hope. Let me know if you like this. I´m not an english native speaker so please forgive my english. Hope you enjoy this first chapter._

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"We have been good friends, don´t we Jane?" His fingers were playing over the armchair and then Mr. Rochester leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. He was quite distressed and I forgot to gave a fast answer so his eyes met mine.

"Yes Sir" I gave him a little smile. He nodded and lowered his eyes. During the time of our acquaintance I have never saw him so nervous.

Mr. Rochester took a breath "What if a fellow had a very deep secret that wish to tell it to his friend, his best friend, but telling this secret might put at risk their relation?" "What would you do Jane?" he let his contained air went out slowly.

TWO DAYS AGO

Every day since she left, I used to rest under a tree waiting for her return. I knew Jane well enough to know that she wouldn´t enter by the front of Thornfield, like any good Christian would. I wanted to tell her this thing that consumed me. If there is a God up there, because I started to think more of it, I beg him to help us all.

It was one of those days, I was very moody pulling up weeds thinking how could I fix all the bullshit that life put in front of me. Another burden in the mansion that was hard to remove.

Little steps were hurd near me, those are my Jane´s ones. My heart started to bump, so hard, so quick. It was excitement and fear. I have to tell her!

Like a ladybug flying softly in the air, were Jane´s steps. It seems that those little feet barely touched the grass, like a beautiful angel floating towards me. She didn´t noticed me and I didn´t want to interrupt such a scene. Jane bent down to contemplate a dragonfly posing on a wild rose. Oh this magic creature was hipnotizing me but reality must be faced.

_"And this is Jane Eyre? Are you coming from Millcote, and on foot? Yes — just one of your tricks: not to send for a carriage, and come clattering over street and road like a common mortal, but to steal into the vicinage of your home along with twilight, just as if you were a dream or a shade. What the deuce have you done with yourself this last month?"_

She gave a little jump and turned around to see me. "Oh sorry Sir. I didn´t notice you!" Pink cheeks and sparkling eyes, I had a desire with such intensity to embrace her, to kiss those fragil fingers, her forehead, cheeks and lips.

_"I have been with my aunt, sir, who is dead."_

_"A true Janian reply! Good angels be my guard! She comes from the other world — from the abode of people who are dead; and tells me so when she meets me alone here in the gloaming! If I dared, I'd touch you, to see if you are substance or shadow, you elf! — but I'd as soon offer to take hold of a blue ignis fatuus light in a marsh. Truant! truant!" She was smiling at me and it cause me pain to be without it for all this time. "Absent from me a whole month, and forgetting me quite, I'll be sworn!"_

I stood up and went to her, very close indeed and remembered the thing I have to tell her; I couldn´t put it off for long. Maybe my face showed my consternation because she asked me if everything was alright. I rested my hand on her shoulder to lean on and gain strength. "Jane may I talk with you?

"If it has to be with my relocation Sir..." she turned around. We stood in silent for a moment. "No Jane, it is not so. You have always been my confidant and now I must confess. Sit if you please"

I took her hand and lead her to a bench. Many times I planned each words for this moment but then, a cry and a bark distracted me. "What the deuce! Silly Adele and that stupid dog" Quickly, Jane stood up and leave me. There will be another time.

PRESENT

I was recollecting the day when my master tried to tell me something at my arrival but Adele showed up and I cut him off. I felt that this was the moment to retake that conversation. What he wanted to tell me that was so difficult to articulate? Why was he asking me those kind of questions?

"Well Sir, true friends trust each other, no matter what. If their relation with this confession might waver, such fellows should not allow the fire of their friendship be lost. They will know how to act with decorum to restore confidence"

At my reply, Mr. Rochester stood up and began walking through the drawing room. Anxiousness appeared again in his features.

"My dear lo... my dear friend, I begin to believe in God and I hop he to listen to you. Listen carefully Jane, all that I have to say till the end"

I stood in silence, made no comment, no movement. He told me everything about Bertha, his wife. She was the supposed ghost that Adele had told me before, from her came those terrifying sounds of the night!

"Jane?" My master knelt before me, put his hand near mine. He examined me for a while and interpreting that I was bearing it up "fine" (because I didn´t move nor gesticulated), he said almost in a whisper "And she is with child".

The only thing that made me realize I was still alive, was some tears running through my face without my control. I felt the blood leaving my body and then was only darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

As soon as her body lost its strenght, I pulled her near me and caressed her soft face "Jane, Jane... I´m so sorry. You wouldn´t have to go through these pains if you hadn´t come to Thornfield, if you hadn´t cross my life" Despite the fire in the room, she was cold so I took off my coat and wrapped her.

There was no reason to call the physician, she had fainted and would recover very soon so I carried her gently and decided to take her myself to her bedroom. We had never been this close and I couldn´t help comparing my brawny body with the delicacy and smallness of her.

It was a sinful pleasure gazing at her in such a moment of vulnerability. I will not fool me, many times I spied on her: the little kisses she used to give to Adele when she thought I was not nearby, her lips slightly parted in amazement as she finished a sketch and her head up to the sky as if thanking a supreme being while walking barefoot in the garden. Now this angel lied in my arms. How could this tiny body posses such inner strenght, braveness and courage? I was transfixed by her beauty, in and out.

"Oh dear, What happened to Miss Eyre? Shall I fetch Dr. Slickson?" Mrs. Fairfax came out of nowhere. As I walked besides her, she gave me a disapproval look. The lady was following me and I put Jane in bed. "She is fine, just a little dazed. I told her the truth". Mrs. Fairfax covered her mouth "Poor child, it might has impressed her so much" but as the old lady saw that I did not leave, she said in an imperious voice "I can take care of her, let me attend the child". For sure, this woman by now, sensed my feelings towards Jane but I didn´t care.

I was suddenly aware of his cologne and the spicy smell of snuff that characterized Mr. Rochester. My eyes rapidly opened and search for him, instead, in front of me was Mrs. Fairfax who interrupted her needlework by my sudden awakening. "Oh Miss Eyre don´t be afraid, its me. How do you feel?" I gave her a fake smile "Quite alright, I need some rest, that´s all".

As soon as I was left alone in my room, I realized that a coat was covering me; it... it was my master´s. I pressed it tightly against me and hot tears began to wet the coat. "Badly done Jane, how come you let your unjustified feelings surpass your reason?" I always thought myself a person who mastered her feelings, who clearly see the claims of the others and be cautious enough to exhibit my heart.

"No way Jane, what feelings are those whose addressee is married and expecting a child? Don´t you dare to desire the neighbor´s spouse. You have no reason to mourn and feel this way" Indeed, I have no right to claim what has not been offered to me.

More than jealousy or sadness, my tears were of great disappointment. If friends we were, I could only find that he was not a worthy one and all the reverence and admiration for him had vanished like a shooting star that hurts to see it disappear.

I shared the pitty of the wax running along the candle, being at the top of the light and warmness and then, falling down bit by bit to the darkness and coldness. Tomorrow, Jane Eyre will be another woman; tomorrow Edward Rochester Fairfax will be another man to my eyes.


End file.
